Now, that all of the excitement of graduation has begun to subside and the student loan statements have begun to fill my Inbox, growing up is looking quite bleak. Its becoming more obvious that my part-time job, though it pays well and has excellent benefits, is not going to allow me to support myself financially and will never lead to anything else. And though I've been searching for better paying jobs, the lack of positions which I'm qualified for is deafeningly apparent.
Day after day of working a soul sucking job which prevents me from ever hoping to move out of my childhood bedroom is leaving me feel empty and dull. Initially, this feeling was easier to cope with as I could fill my free time visiting with friends and pretending that the feeling was temporary. However, now, as the days go on, I become fearful that I will never regain that spark that I use to feel. Optimism is quickly being replaced with pessimism.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Years Resolutions
Today is January 3rd, 2011 and I have yet to make a New Years Resolution list. While these lists tend to be cliche and quickly forgotten, it almost seems worse to start out the year without goals. As this will be, as of May 2011, my first year of freedom from school and what feels like my first year of adulthood, I think I should set goals for my future.
Recently, I've begun asking many of my friends and acquaintances what they would be if they could be anything. I guess I have been asking people obsessively because I'm not sure what I would be if I could be anything and not knowing what I want makes me nervous about graduating. Graduation is suppose to be the time when you buckle down, stop acting like an adolescent, and put your very expensive education to use, but as I get closer I realize that I don't want to do any of that and I'm not sure what I should do. Thus my New Years Resolution list will not consist of responsible resolutions such as getting a job and moving out, but moral responsibilities that will hopefully help me decide what I really want to do.
1. Be good to myself, in both body and mind.
2. Dont let fears prevent me from making big changes.
3. Go after the things I think I really want, even when the odds are against me.
Recently, I've begun asking many of my friends and acquaintances what they would be if they could be anything. I guess I have been asking people obsessively because I'm not sure what I would be if I could be anything and not knowing what I want makes me nervous about graduating. Graduation is suppose to be the time when you buckle down, stop acting like an adolescent, and put your very expensive education to use, but as I get closer I realize that I don't want to do any of that and I'm not sure what I should do. Thus my New Years Resolution list will not consist of responsible resolutions such as getting a job and moving out, but moral responsibilities that will hopefully help me decide what I really want to do.
New Years Resolutions for 2011
2. Dont let fears prevent me from making big changes.
3. Go after the things I think I really want, even when the odds are against me.
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